Frustrated

Sometimes it really difficult to believe that God ask u to believe in
Each and every time when things happens, even the small small one
i would juz stumble
Many at times i ask God is wat U ask me to believe in still relevant
or is it all the past times wat i believe in juz come from my own
But things certainly doesn't goes that way
WHY??
Immediately after i ask that question other events will juz happen and restore my faith
is not juz one or two times
there are juz too many for me to deny it
but i really hope wat i believe in will one day come true
there are juz too much hope i put in it
each time i stumble
i rise up again to put more and more faith in it
Sometimes i am really afraid if wat i wish for won't come true
I may have strong faith but when things happen my heart is juz so weak
i hate going through those moment
i try my best to avoid and shorten it
but wat to do
it's my weakness
Everything around me juz seems prefect
i got very blessed and loving family
not juz my family, those relatives are extremely good to me
i heard lots and lots of stories and complaints about their grandparents and relatives from my friends
but when it comes to me i got none
in fact they will volunteer to help even without me asking for those
my family too quite wealthy
i can get almost anything i need as long as i ask for it
myself good in studies
many friends
and there are many too whom i can trust and will always be willing to help me
i can further my studies with funding from gov eventhough my family earn well
but in spite of all these
there are this small little weakness that has haunt me for years
i dunno how many years its going to haunt me and i know God has provided the best for me
but its juz suffering to wait for years
but again that's the reason my faith grow
that's the reason i put my trust in Him
that's how He guard me
Haiz...
I juz can't get it
i get down-hearted so easily
I still remember the first time i face it in Year 5
my heart feel so meng (i dunno how to describe in english but its sort of like down)
and it last for almost 2 weeks non-stop
i dunno the real reason and its exam time
i thought is because of the exam
but after the exam it didn't died out
until after the holidays start then things get better
but the results of the exam is amazing. the best results since year 3
and i never get such results or anywhere near the results ever again
now i am facing it again
though not for 2 weeks
but its already taking a toll on me
sometimes i can't concentrate on studies
how come i am such a great WORRIER
But anyway please pray for me
I can't specify my problems yet
Coz the time haven't arrive yet to do so
God knows it and i believe He will provide the best